A little pea.

I was just thinking of something.
I envy peopz with blogs with pictures of themselves everywhere and beautiful english texts and beautiful and ugly meanings everywhere.
I wish I could get that caught up in my life.
But I think I am too dimbwitted to get caught up in myself. I mean even now, when I've been alone at home for four days, I still can't produce anything of the feelings I have and I am not even sure of what I'm feeling.
Maybe it's because I do have loads of contradicting emotions all the time, stress vs. lazyness, anger vs. spring-feeling etc etc. I can't be filled with one state of mind or something, because I feel different things for different situations.
A scary thing is that my sister once told me that I'll never get anyone close if I can't even open up to her, and even myself.
And I don't know what to do with that.
yet.

I'm a little pea
I love the sky and the trees
I'm a teeny tiny little ant
Checkin' out this and that
I am nothing
Ahhhhh Ahhhhh
So you have nothing to hide