Stressing

Sheisse, I am so stressed about school, things I've forgotten, things I have to do, things I will do, things I haven't done and the things I know I never will do. I tell ya, this much of stuff attacking from all angles, I have never experienced before. I have never felt that lump in my chest and experienced frequent tummy-aches for this long time period before. This is seriously messed up. How can one person worry and stress about so many things, all at once? Shit, I won't have time to do things, I think that next year I have to cut down on my CAS-hours so I have time for school-work. Cuz this is fricken insane. And I have so many obligations, or so it seems, and I can't really show or act out the stress I'm feeling. So people don't know. I'm a bit disabled in that department, I just feel it in my chest and tummy. How will I ever tackle and succeed the IB? Maybe I should really get serious about my singing or painting, so I can do something creative with myself and live off of that instead of being a psychiatrist or diplomat. Dream on, I'm not even that good at anything really. Cuz I can't focus. I am so worried of how I'll end up, what type of person I'll become, if I even live to see the day I graduate from the IB. I should start with drugs or someting, so I don't have to deal with school or anything, I'll drug enough to ruin my life without the painful procedure of peple expecting things from me, Me, myself, expecting something from me. I really should stop thinking I am someone I'm not. Someone who has a shot at something. I don't think I do, I'm quite lazy, stupid and just unfocused. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME, PULL YOUR ACT TOGETHER MAJA. fun, this has been.