I could use somebody.

I just realised something.
I don't have a SINGLE CRAZY FRIEND.
I need a wack-job, a seriously crazy person with a ot of extra energy with a weird talent, like playing the banjo or something, someone with green hair, someone that can make crazy Maja come out even more. Let me see, is anyone of my friends that doesn't live in Sweden wack-jobs?
Nope, not saying that all my friends are normal cuz they are sooo not normal, I don't like normal, gets boring after a while BUT, they're not very crazy.
I need someone crazy.
I could use someone that's crazy.
I wanna get my toungue pierced by the way, but I don't know how that would affect my singing..
getting off topic, but it is crazy!
Cuz usually, I am so safe when it comes to my appearance, not changing my hair, dressing very safe.
Well, I could be a little more adventureous in some aspects.
Now, the problem is, where to find this crazy person?
I could go out for a walk at night, like at three on a sunday, lets face it who wants to be out that late on a school-night?
Or I could stand by the knee-socks department in a store, cuz who would in their right minds wear knee-socks 2009?
It's soo 2007 *hairflip*
So yeah I am looking for a crazy person here in Lund, know anyone?
I'd prefer it if he/she would be a bit pretty, or at least have a nice breath.
I can't STAND lousy breath.

Someone like you, And all you know,
And how you speak.
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Another evidence of the fact that my cat is crazy, my sister is cute and my camera goes weird when it's filming, and that I RULE at printscreening!!!!!

A lean mean coughing-machine.

Hi, there hello.
I have been sick for five days now, feeling much better now though!
I am just coughing a lot and feeling a bit tired but tomorrow I'll go to school wie.
Due to the fact that i have been sick, I have been a bit off, from society and the reality.
It's been a nice break actually but at the same time I have felt so useless, and a waste of space in some sense of the expression.
And I haven't eaten properly, and my sister Anna has been here keeping me company for the past two days because I am alone at home, and she always wants to eat junkfood with me.
I feel fat, an I seriously need to get a grip of myself and start to do some exercise..
I can't be bothered, every time I really feel that i am gonna start, something happens.
My dad goes out of town, I have a lot of homework, I get sick, and shit!!
Annoying.
Okay yay this was some waste of time for you to read, sorry for not being funnier!
btw I cough a lot still, if I was in a King Arthur Movie I should be called sir Coughsalot.
AND YES, I would be a 'sir'.
did I scare you now?
gahd I hope so.

(My hand looks retarded)

Photo by: cassie ofc.

Robotboy, do you need a friend?

Hi, I know I didn't write anything yesterday but so what?
I was busy, being a good girl doing my homework, I had to do this poem-analysis for swedish which I think went pretty well.
I enjoy analyzing poems and books and stuff.
And I enjoy history, psychology, art, and performing and stuff.
So I don't know what I want to be when I grow up..
OH WELL, I am only seventeen, I've got all the time in the world to make up my mind.
But I better do it, so I won't end up working as a garbage-man.
No offense to garbage-men, they're needed too.
So anyways, at the moment, I have a lot going on in school, many homeworks and projects and tests soon, but the thing is; it doesn't bother me.
The more stuff I have to do, the greater chance it is that I will actually do them.
I don't have much to inform you people about, in my life at the moment.
As I said, a lot with school, and on the social side, well.
Yes, I have friends, and yes I hang out with them.
Mostly Cassie though, I see her everyday in school, but I also try to see Malin every time I'm at my mom's place as well.
I love those two, and I am happy to have them!
Tomorrow I am gonna go and visit my big sis Anna, in Malmö, maybe I'll sleep at her place, but maybe not cuz my parents don't want me to.
She's been sick, well I think she still is.
But she needs a little company, and I always have so much fun with her!
The thing is that when I am with her, i don't feel that I am the little-sister and that she's the older sister.
I am stronger than her physically nowadays so when we fight I win.
But she's more linguistic than me, so if we fight for real, she always end up being right even though she sometimes messes up big time.
She's funny too.
OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT ANNA.
Peace !

Hey now boy, where've you been?
Smashed up toy, are you lost again?

Your batteries low, did you crash again?
Robotboy, do you need a friend?

The grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
Your opinion, what is that?
It's just a different point of view, oh yeah.

Your Winter - Sister Hazel.
yum.

Mood. Swing.

I really hope this is one of those crazy teenager-things, that like I will one day say
"oh my lord, I was so messed up when I was a teenager, mood-swings like mad"
yada yada.
I know I am not more messed up than most of us, but I am so tired of changing my state of mind all the fricken time.
Yesterday I was so tired of everything, didn't want to do anything, thought everything was hopeless and that things suck.
Okay some things suck.
The fact that time moves faster and faster for every year, I BLAME GLOBAL WARMING.
But yeah that sucks, and stuff.
Wow my arm hurts now, because I sit so low and I have to hold my arm up in order to move the computer-mouse around.
I hate computers.
But yeah, moodswings!
It can get a bit exhausting, the way I am so easily affected by the people that surround me, and the workload I have got, or what weather it is.
I rather like cloudy days, but not when it's windy because I get so beaten down when it's fricken impossible to bike to school, and I get there three minutes late.

I enjoy swings. I will enjoy my mood swings, and enjoy when I am in a good state of mind.
I just need something. I am gonna go and buy some new fish. And cut my hair. And exercise.

Bye.

One of my fish died.
One of the good ones.
She always pressed herself
up against the glass when I
came in the room, and
followed my hand across
the glas and stuff.
Freaky fish.
I hope she's in a better place.
Is there a fish-heaven?

Stupid boy. Stupid boy.

My cat looks like Sméagol sometimes.

I don't really know what to write about.

This is completely useless, and I feel completely useless, and one of the people I love the most is so in a bad place right now and I can't get her out of there and she won't listen or talk to me.

Me!

I am supposedly an important person in her life but she shuts me out.

I wish I could've been better at shutting people out.

I wanna know what it's like being on the other side of the door, just for once.

But the thing is I know that I feel better when I talk about my problems, and when I let the ones that I love, in.

But this person happens to be really shitty stupid and stubborn, and I wanna help her, but I also wanna slap her.

The thing is though, in these situations, I can only hope that she lets at least someone in, who she can talk to and that she sees that I love her.

This feeling sucks.

Why do relationships consist of doors?

I've always hoped it would be like a big round room.

No corners to hide in.

But then again, privacy is awesome.

I love having my own room.

I will keep banging on her door though, hoping that she will let me in or at least let me talk through the key-hole once in a while.

I have absoluteley no idea what i mean by that exactly and it sounds stupid but yah maybe you get my drift.

My mom just stepped on my cat's tail.

Sweet.

Week. End

This is the end, my only friend.
The end.
On some level I really hate weekends.
This is because I always take friday-evenings and saturdays for granted.
I sleep til like 12, and there we go, half of the day just went out the window.
I really do love sleeping but I wouldn't mind doing something on the day of saturdays, and not just hang out with people in the evening.
AMG THE CLOUDS LOOK LIKE THEY BELONG IN A PAINTING FROM THE RENEISSANCE-ERA. (all pink-grey-blue looking)
Anyhow, sometimes it feels like I am wasting my weekends, because when I finally realise that I am free from school and this is a good time to do the things I don't have the time for during school-days, it's a sunday.
A sunday!, for crying out loud.
When I lived in japan, this is how my weekends looked like
Friday-evening: Hanging out with THE GANG, going out to eat with friends, meeting up at Starbucks and walking in stores and buying silly things, and the just goofing around in Peace Park til curfew.
Saturday: Going on the town! With Sara or hanging out with the loverboy or (YAY I GOT A BIT OF CHOCOLATE FROM ANNA WOOT) or;;; just relaxing in my room, painting or something.
Sunday: Doing the four homeworks we had over the weekend. Chill-day.
I loved weekends.
Now, I love when we get a 'study-day' off of school, or if a class has been cancelled.
Or maybe if I have huge plans for the weekend.
Otherwise it feels like time just floats on until I actually do something.
I am not being ungrateful for hanging out with friends or anything like that, I just wished that I had a little more structure.
Not that fridays and saturdays just floats on until I realise that I actually have to go to school the next day.
That damn Sunday-feeling.
(I just had an apple, and my toungue itches and my cheeks are getting red. Maybe I should just stick to bananas.)
The breaks from school feels like my weekends.
I have a break again in four weeks.
yay.
Today I'll hopefully hang out with Cassie.
Even though I kinda made some semi-plans with two other friends.
Why do things have to be soo damn complicated?
Hahahha who am I kidding.
At least I don't have to work each day, putting food on the table, fighting lions, aids, watching the city I live in burn.
Okay getting of topic.
The point is: I will have to do better when it comes to appreciating time.
And weekends.
Life is not all about school!
(Gosh, I need to go and get my allergy-pills, cuz that apple might be the end of me..)

Sometimes you make me want to laugh
Sometimes I wanna take my toaster in the bath.

Today's update:
I hit my arm, when I was about to get my shirt from under my bed, and I will most probably get a bruise, and Cassie has been poking it quite frequently today.
I got a free t-shirt from Open House at my school, as you can see above.
And yes, I tried to kiss the vacuum-cleaner and it totally screwed up my face.
BUT: cheap surgery, any takers?
I can lend you mine.

Open House at Katteeee

Yup, so me and cassie signed us up for helping out at Open House, at our school.

Well CASSIE signed us up.

She'll pay.

So yeah, we didn't talk so much to other possible IB-students, we just ate candy and watched this really retarded movie about the IB.

Hilarious as fuck though.

They chose to interview the most retarded teachers!

Well, two of the retarded ones.

Three.

Good move, THAT will make people consider slowly killing themselves by taking the IB-path.

So yeah.

It was fun though, cuz Cassie is retarded in a good way and I talked to José about stuff.

And well i like the people at my school, in my class.

Sure do!

here are some pics from todaay yaay.

Cissi, Cassie and Linnea, by our lockers in thë (amg awesome dots over the e!!! I'm gonna let it remain that way. ENJOY!)DUNGEONS. The IB is condemned to the dungeons.

Antonia and Gaby.

I miss my cat ._.

He lives at my mom's.

I live at my dad's.

It's a problem.

Luckily, I see him every other weekend.

So he can scratch me and bite me.

He is quite hostile.

To come to think of it..

I don't miss him!

jo.

A hand on you cock,
is more moral,
and more fun,
than a finger on
the trigger.
- Lawrence Lipton

Dude, gimmie your hat.
They died.

Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)

(Bilder från "Hippie" av Barry Miles).

My third worst Nightmare.

Last night I dreamt the worst nightmare I've ever dreamt.
Or, at least it's in the top 3.
After reading "The Outsider" by Albert Camus, yesterday right before going to bed (I had to re-read the ending cuz i was soo unconcious when I read it the first time) I dreamt that I was sentenced to death.
And it wasn't just any death.
I had to hang on a cross.
The weirdest thing is, that my dad, sister anna and sister sara, kept me company, til i was going to die.
And they didn't even seem to care!
I tried to put on a smile and stuff, but inside I was panicking.
I didn't want to die!
And three of the most important people in my life didn't care.
They acted like nothing was wrong.
And yet i got the sense that that was their own way of saying goodbye, a tribute to our family.
Suck it.
Anyways, have you ever seen "Ivanhoe"?
There is a jewish girl who they comdemn to death for being a witch, and the only way she can escape the fate of being burnt, is if a knight steps forward and fights for her.
It was like that, in my dream.
But NO ONE stepped forward!
Not even my dad!
I felt so betrayed and hopeless.
When I woke up I was so relieved it was a dream.
I know my family loves me and they would care if I was sentenced to death and had to hang on a cross. I'm sure of it.
(By the way, in "The Outsider", the main-character is sentenced to death for not crying at his mother's funeral. Pus he killed an arab but that was self-defense.)
One tip for you guys: Do NOT read a book about ghosts, death, tragedy and stuff right before bed!
Bye.

Cassie är duktig på att fota och redigera och Majse är duktig på att uppskatta fina foton.

Speciellt om dotot innehåller henne själv.

DO NOT JUDGE!

I love her though.

CHEAH I SAID IT.

(Cassie og Majse på bilden om ni ikke fadtadt!)

Satans Fail-day.

Idag har jag nog varit världens värsta elev.
Eller iallafall något åt det hållet.
Jag kom faktiskt i tid imorse, till historian, men Christian, min kära historia-lärare, hade stängt dörren och låst.
Så när jag kom in VERKADE det som om jag var försenad.
When I was, in fact, not.
Jag fick passa en plats till Cassie btw, som kom för sent.
Jag lyssnade på lektionen, när Christian snackade om Hitler.
Jag har redan hört det där tre gånger innan OCH skrivit en uppsats om det but whatevaah.
Men jag flummade lite tyst emellanåt med Cassie.
No regrets about that one.
Cassie blev traumatiserad när Christian visade var Göring blev skjuten, during Beer Putsch.
In the groin.
Sedan var det lunch som gick ganska smärtfritt fram, förutom att Cassie tog den sista slurken av vatten jag hade kvar i glaset.
Jag har varit törstig hela dagen.
Sedan var det matte, vilket jag inte fattade ETT SKIT AV.
seröööst jag sög som fan.
Och Cassie var inte till mycket hjälp.
Äh vem lurar jag?
Det var JAG som inte var till mycket hjälp, jag har varit totalt värdelös idag.
ANYWHO.
På psykoligin, now THERE was some SERIOUS fail-boating.
Vi gick till KV, jag och Cassie, på vägen möter vi Sali som säger att vi inte har psych där.
Great, så vi fick vända om och leta reda på var vi hade psykologin.
No clue.
Leta, leta, leta.
Nothing.
SO, vi gav upp.
Och nu får jag MER frånvaro från Psych, AND IT'S NOT FAIR.
Veckan innan lovet var jag med i en julshow och jag behövde repa, så jag var tvungen att gå tidigare från skolan, SO jag missade psych-lektionerna.
Not cool!
Yeah so jag var lite bummed över det.
Men resten av dagen var nice, träffade Firas som har slutat, och går nu på Cyber eller hur fan det stavas, i Malmö.
Traitor.
Love you though! <3
Jag måste formatera om min Diversity-lab, i Environmental Systems.
Fuck.
Det KÄNNS som om detta har varit en total FAIL-DAY.
Men jag vet att det kunde ha varit mycket värre.
Jag kunde ha dött.
Av nåt, förmodligen av att jag kvävdes av en pommes, på McDonald's.
See, life IS sweet!
HAVE A GREAT EVENING PEOPZ.
äh, vem läser det här ändå?

Jag hatar att vara sjutton, för alla snyggingar är för gamla.
Jag vill vara tjugo och klar med skolan.
Men man kan inte få allt i livet.
Jared Leto är typ 37 :(
Stupid 1991.

Prince Caspian, marry me.

Screw Susan. .. not literally though.

Seriously, I know I'm a dork for thinking Caspian is gorgous, cuz let's face it, Narnia isn't very COOL.

..Ah, who am I kidding, it's AWESOME!

Cuz Caspian is BEAUTIFUL, with an ACCENT, and thick HAIR.

On his head.
YOUR MOM'S CHEST-HAIR!

rescue me.

Skolstart,skolsmart.

Man hade ju sagt till sig själv att den här terminen ska bli bättre. Den här terminen ska jag plugga på som satan i skolan så jag har åtminstone något att komma med, när allt annat skiter sig. För nu känns det som om allt annat skiter sig. Enligt mig själv är jag inne i en ful-period, mitt ansikte ser konstigt ut och mitt hår lägger sig konstigt, kvittar hur jag fönar det. Socialt går det lite långsamt, jag är mycket med ett par kompisar men jag vill hitta nya människor. jag vill lära känna andra människor. Det känns liksom uppfriskande att göra något annat ju. Att träffa någon annan. Jag vill till Mexiko och träffa Caio, måste jobba halva sommarn för att det ska gå. (Just nu lyssnar jag på 'Sodomy', från musikalen Hair <3)Jag vill se Caios värld.



Den senaste tiden har jag bara tänkt på Japan och människorna jag lärde känna där. Varför finns inte sådana människor här? Eller, rättare sagt, varför kan jag inte hitta dem? Ska jag straffas för att jag går på katte med snobbar, and therefore finns det inga roliga? Men det stämmer inte heller, där finns nice männsikor på katte också. jag såg i skolkatalogen ett ploj-foto som några från spyken gjorde. Den heter typ "Katte '09", innehåller fem killar som posar i bakåtslick och märkeskläder och har alias som "Katte von Braatz" och "Gucci Gucci Prada Prada". LIKE COME ON. Kom och hälsa på och se hur det är istället. Men.. Jag tror nog faktiskt att jag hör hemma på en skola som Spyken. Eller, jag vill tro det om mig själv. Nu ska lillasystern börja på spyken förhoppningsvis, jag avundas henne!



Idag är det lördag och jag gör inget speciellt, är bara hemma. Jag är i en helt konstig sinnestämning just nu och orkar inte med så mycket POOFPOOF typ. You dig? Nä, inte ens jag själv fattar riktigt. Men typ, idag, kände jag för att vara hemma. Eller nä, jag ville komma ifrån men inte ut ut. Så ikväll har jag skissat lite bara, försökte mig på ett självporträtt men jag fixar det aldrig! Jag kan bara inte. Men lite andra saker gjorde jag. Jag vek alla mina kläder som bara var inslängda i garderoben, vilket gjorde mig lite deprimerad. Jag har bara ett par kläder som jag gillar nu, har ändrat lite klädsmak och jag kan inte köpa speciellt mycket nya kläder som jag gillar för att jag måste spara pengar till Mexiko-resan. Och de kläder som jag inte använder vill jag inte slänga. I suck. Sen läst jag i min Hippie-bok, tänkte att jag kanske skulle skaffa mig lite inspiration till en målning men jag pallar inte skissa på något nu. Är trött i huvudet. BRA att jag sitter vid datorn då. jaja.



peace.

I can't wait for this city to rot.
I can't wait to see the weeds
growing through empty streets.
-Jean Genet, 1968

Bilder från Nyår!

Var med Sara lillasystern, Cassiesandra i hbg och sen med Nikki, hemma hos henne i Råå. MYCKET kul :DDDDD

japp 2008:

Bästa tidsperiod: Den 22/5 till 11/7. Började med att Caio var här i sverige med majse och det var fanimej det bästa som hänt. Jag saknar honom, min bästis. Ska tjäna ihop pengar så jag kan åka till mexiko och hälsa på honom.

Bästa nya tillskottet till Majas vardag: VÅR KATT OSCAR!!! älskar min kisse.

Bästa festen: Alla klassfester hos Sophia i Dösjebro, såna bra drag i dom, min klass är fanimej bäst!

Bästa Filmen: The Dark Knight LÄTT. fyfan. ska köpa den på dvd.

Bästa skivan köpt: Viva la Vida or Death and all of his Friends, med Coldplay.

Förlusten: Heath Ledger. Så fucking promising han var. In my opinion var han ett steg efter Johnny Depp.

Årets bästa inköp: allt naturgodis med cashews, med Malin i somras! mums

Årets achievement: när jag var backup-singer till Annette på Tages. Jag kände mig nyttig och duktig.

Årets resa: JAPAN MED CASSANDRA. Fyfasiken va mysigt och kul vi hade. Fick träffa alla gamla kompisar från japan. NÄSTAN. förutom Lexi och Caio. Dom bästa. Jaja. Jag hade det kul och det var mysigt att visa cassie min värld. eller det som var min värld.

Årets första: Mitt första heartbreak. sved lite men nu ere bra!

nu räcker det nog pallar inte riktigt skriva, lite oinspirerad. MEN PUSShej-.

Året som gått?